


It's Only Stealing If You Don't Plan to Return It

by wilde_stallyn



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crossdressing, F/M, M/M, Multi, Roleplay, Strap-Ons, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-03-14
Updated: 2005-03-14
Packaged: 2017-11-04 15:39:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/395453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilde_stallyn/pseuds/wilde_stallyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neville has a crush, Hermione has an idea, and Ron is very, very surprised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Only Stealing If You Don't Plan to Return It

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://lysrouge.livejournal.com/profile)[**lysrouge**](http://lysrouge.livejournal.com/) as part of the Late Bloomer Ficathon over at [](http://nevillosity.livejournal.com/profile)[**nevillosity**](http://nevillosity.livejournal.com/). Much love to [](http://starrysummer.livejournal.com/profile)[**starrysummer**](http://starrysummer.livejournal.com/) for the last minute beta.

Hermione snuggled in closer to Neville on the squishy loveseat by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. He absently stroked her side where his arm was wrapped around her waist and she smiled. She was supposed to be reading _Arithmancy for the Academically Above-Average_ by Anastasia Argyle, but mostly she was watching Neville watch Ron.

Ron and Harry were going over a new Quidditch strategy or some such on the other side of the common room. Every time Ron jumped up to add something to the large sheet of parchment he had stuck to the wall, Neville's eyes would fallow his arse like someone had cast a Point Me spell on them. Hermione rather thought she ought to be upset, or at least a bit jealous, that her boyfriend so obviously had a crush on one of her best friends, but she couldn't muster the will to be hacked-off about it because it was just so darn _cute_.

Hermione had found she had an inexplicable weakness for the particular brand of cuteness that was Neville Longbottom. She had been just as surprised as anyone else when he first asked her out. She had been helping him with a bit of Transfiguration homework one night, and she could tell he was clearly working up the courage for _something_ , but she definitely wasn't expecting him to blurt out "Hermionewillyougooutwithme?"

She had never thought about Neville in a romantic or sexual light before. Truthfully, until that moment she had assumed Neville was gay. As far as she could tell, he never talked about girls or seemed to have a crush on any of them. When he had accepted Justin Finch-Fletchley's invitation to Hogsmeade in Sixth Year it had only served to cement her observations.

She just stared at him for a moment as he stammered something about how nice she was to him and how he had always thought she was very pretty. Then she smiled as she realized how completely adorable he was, sitting there, blushing to his hairline, waiting for her reply. Before she had consciously realized she had made a decision, she found herself leaning over and kissing him, and then he surprised her for the second time that evening. He kissed her back hard, and it was hungry and passionate and forceful and all those things one did not usually think to associate with Neville.

Hermione was jostled out of her musings as Neville turned nearly all the way around to watch Ron follow Harry up the dormitory stairs. Alright, enough was enough. She poked Neville hard in the side and he nearly jumped off the couch.

"Hey!" he yelped in surprise. "What was that for?"

"You were staring at Ron's arse."

Neville went red and gaped at her like a fish out of water. "I- I was not."

Hermione gave him a look that clearly said that she wasn't remotely fooled and he might as well quit lying about it. "I'm not upset, but unless you would like the entire common room to know you fancy him, I'd suggest a bit of subtlety in your ogling."

"You're not upset?" he asked.

"No, I'm not. Just so long as you don't decide you're tired of me and start shagging him behind my back. Ron _is_ rather fanciable. I used to have something of a crush on him myself, you know."

Now it was Neville's turn to give her a look. "Love, everyone knew you had more than 'something of a crush' on Ron. Except Ron, of course," he added quickly. "And Harry, actually."

"Yes, well, at least their lack of observational skills came in handy for something," she said and hastily returned to her book.

 

* * *

 

The next evening, Neville watched Hermione hurry through her supper. He figured that she probably had some new research project she wanted to get back to, but when she was finished, she turned a wicked smile on him and said, "Meet me in the study in an hour."

Then she jumped up from the table and left him to stare apprehensively after her as she left the Great Hall. He knew that smile – she definitely had something planned for him tonight.

 

* * *

 

Dean paused in the doorway of the seventh-year boys' dorm room. "Hermione, what are you doing?"

Hermione looked up from the foot of Ron's bed where she was going through his trunk. "Oh, hi Dean. I'm just borrowing a couple of things."

She pulled out a slightly mouldy bag of Cockroach Clusters and grimaced. "Boys," she said in a disgusted tone and Banished them.

Dean just shook his head and collapsed onto his own bed as she continued to rummage through Ron's trunk.

"Found it!" said Hermione, pulling out Ron's chess set and hurrying out of the room.

 

* * *

 

Neville approached Hermione's study with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. The private study was one of the perks of being Head Girl, and shagging in the private study was definitely one of the perks of dating the Head Girl. Tonight though, he was a little worried that maybe she had decided to punish him for staring at Ron's arse last night, after all. She said she wasn't upset with him, but he _was_ her boyfriend and he _had_ been ogling her best friend. He didn't know exactly what such a punishment would look like, but he figured it couldn't be pleasant.

He pushed open the study door and stopped dead.

"Hermione? What's going on?"

Hermione was sitting behind her desk in a oversized maroon Weasley jumper with a prominent 'R' on the front. Her hair had been spelled bright red and pulled back into a tight bun. Ron's chess set sat on the desktop in front of her.

"Sorry mate, there's no Hermione here," she said, her voice a fair imitation of Ron's. "Up for a game of chess?"

Neville impulsively decided to go along with whatever Hermione was playing at, and pulled a chair up to the desk. It was a little weird to see her pretending to be Ron, but it was also, somehow, really, really sexy.

They played chess for a while and Neville was amazed how easy it was for him to believe that it really was Ron sitting across from him. He supposed it shouldn't really be that surprising. Hermione was one of Ron's best friends after all, and she had all his little eccentricities down pat: his habit of biting at the cuticle of his right thumbnail when he was thinking of his next move, the way he ran his hand nervously through his hair when Neville gained an advantage.

"Checkmate," said Ron- Hermione- Ron- whatever. "I believe you owe me a forfeit, don't you think?"

"Oh, most definitely," Neville replied, coming around the desk, shedding his robe as he went. He pushed her back into the big leather chair and slid into her lap, straddling her legs. He captured her face in his hands and pulled her into a deep kiss.

He slid a hand up under the Weasley jumper to caress her breasts. She arched into him as he squeezed her nipple, and his eyes widened as he felt a hard bulge press against his own growing erection.

He pulled back to fumble with the fly of her trousers, yanking them open. God, she's even wearing Ron's Cannons y-fronts, he thought, quickly pulling those away as well to reveal a large black strap-on. He ran his finger up the underside, and she moaned as though it had been charmed so she could feel the sensation.

"God, Ron," Neville groaned, taking a firm grip on the dildo. "You're so fucking hot. I want you inside me so bad. I want to slide myself down your body and fuck myself on your cock."

"Oh, yes," she gasped and fumbled open the desk drawer to pull out the bottle of lubricant they kept there. Easing Neville's underwear down over his hips, she coated her fingers with the lubricant and reached around to tease his opening.

He growled at the teasing sensation and thrust back against her fingers. He wanted it all, and he wanted it now. She slid two fingers into him and he moaned.

She had barely begun to stretch him when he grabbed the lubricant and spread it over the dildo. He pulled her hand away form his arse and stripped his y-fronts all the way off as he turned around, lowering himself onto the glistening cock before she could react.

 

* * *

 

Meanwhile, Ron was rummaging through his trunk. "Hey, Dean, have you seen my chess set? I could swear I put it in here."

Dean looked up from his sketch of the things on Harry's dresser. "What? Oh, Hermione was in here earlier. She borrowed it."

Ron glared at him. "It's not borrowing if you don't ask first, it's stealing.

"Girls." He sighed and went off to find Hermione.

 

* * *

 

Hermione wasn't in the common room and Lavender told him she wasn't in her dorm room either, so Ron headed for her study. He strode down the forth floor corridor, his temper growing with every step. You would think that after seven years the girl could buy her own damn chess set!

"Hermione-" he began to bellow as he pushed the door open, but it trailed of into a squeak as he got a look at the scene in front of him.

Hermione was panting, her head thrown back against the back of her desk chair as Neville rode a black dildo strapped to her hips. She was _wearing his clothes_ , and his chess pieces seemed to be watching the whole thing with interest from the desk.

Hermione and Neville froze at the sound of his voice.

"Ron!" Hermione gasped, a horrified expression on her face, but Neville just looked him up and down with a surprisingly predatory stare, and Ron felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Come here," Neville said in a low voice, and Ron found his feet obeying even with his mind still trying to process the situation.

Neville pushed Ron back so he was leaning against the edge of the desk and pulled his robes open. He yanked down Ron's y-fronts and Ron groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as the waistband scraped over his cock. Neville braced his hands against the desk on either side of Ron's hips and took Ron's quickly hardening cock into his mouth, all the while struggling to keep Hermione's strap-on in his arse.

Ron gasped and buried his hands in Neville's hair as Neville teased the head of his cock with his tongue. He had a brief flash of impending reality when he opened his eyes and saw Hermione lean forward in the chair, pressing his jumper against Neville's back, trying to get a better angle on his prostate with the dildo, but bloody hell Neville's mouth felt so good.

Hermione reached around Neville's body to grab his cock, making him moan around Ron. Neville took Ron's cock deep into the back of his throat as Hermione stroked him, and Ron had to put one hand on the desktop to steady himself as his knees threatened to give way.

Soon Neville was coming hard, bringing Hermione along with him as his arse clenched around her strap-on. He kept his mouth wrapped tight around Ron's cock as he shuddered and it wasn't long before Ron was spilling himself down Neville's throat as his own climax claimed him.

"We have got to do that again," Neville breathed drawing away from Ron to collapse back against Hermione. "For longer and in a much more comfortable position."

Ron looked up at them from the floor where he had collapsed against the desk when Neville had pulled his mouth away from his cock. "Hell yes, but next time Hermione's not dressing as me. That's just bloody creepy."


End file.
